Cat Bed? I've Tried It

I tried the cat bed. It's pretty comfy.

Rat Face!

Sometimes when I'm petting my cat, I enjoy smoothing his ears back and saying, "Rat Face!" It really takes so little to amuse me.

Cosmo, my purring, peeky-tongued rat face.

Loafing Like a Cat is Not All It's Cracked Up To Be

Once I tried to loaf like a cat, just to see what the big deal was. You know what the big deal was? Getting out of that position without pulling something.

Cats in Shopping Carts and Please Pass the Frosting

Originally posted 10/26/10

Aside from being a cat person, I'm also what I'd consider a people person.  Mostly...when they're nice, anyway.  I love learning odd and quirky things about my friends; this is probably because it make me feel better about my own bizarre behavior.  In general, I think that cat people are peculiar in the best way possible.  With this in mind, I thought I'd share five of my (questionably) endearing quirks with you.  In return, please respond with something odd or interesting about yourself.  It'll be some good, freaky fun!

• I love cake frosting.  When I eat cake, I usually eat the cake part first and save the frosting for last.  I could eat have eaten an entire bowl of frosting in a sitting.  The same goes for chocolate chip cookie dough.  I'm defenseless against its sugary seduction.

• Those of you that are regular readers know that I have sort of a disturbingly vivid imagination.  I often picture my cats doing human things (especially in public) and think about how people would react to the silly situations.  Yesterday I was at the grocery store and immediately thought how funny it would be if one of my cats were sitting like a toddler in the seat of the shopping cart...you know, all strapped in, legs through the holes, wearing some denim overalls and a cute little red-checked shirt.  I think I may have started giggling as the scenario popped into my head.  This is me.all.day.long.  My husband is accepting condolences.  I'm accepting frosting.

• I'm a giant baby when it comes to scary movies and haunted houses.  Can't, won't, nope.

• I like to read the thesaurus.  I own two large ones, a pocket-sized one, and I have the website at the top of my bookmarks.  I'm a word nerd.  Lexicon lover. Vocabulary maniac. Jargon aficionado.

• Cosmo the cat joins me in the bathroom when I shower.  Many times, I make up songs and sing to him while I am showering.  He sits between the curtain and the liner and bats at me while I serenade him.  I'm pretty sure that means he loves my songs.  Pretty sure.

So there's a little peek into Angie's brain.  Still with me?  There's plenty more where that came from, but I promised to only embarrass my kids a little at a time.  I wonder if the cats are embarrassed by my strange thoughts and behavior?  Phoebe?

Good.  I don't want to lose my edge...  Now, what's one of your fabulous quirks?  Can you see me leaning in?  Do tell ...

What I Really Want to Do Today

Last night at 9 my flight arrived from L.A., where I'd attended the 2012 Cat Writers' Conference. My brain is on still west coast time, but my reality is Minnesota time, where it's not even the butt-crack of dawn and I need to get ready for work. Today I am once again jealous of my cats. What I wouldn't give for nice warm pile of laundry on which to lounge today.

Midnight Mental Popcorn

Sometimes when I'm stricken with insomnia, I snuggle up on the sofa with a cat or three and watch old sitcoms and infomercials.  Sometimes (many times) my mind wanders and thoughts become pieces of mental popcorn, some more flavorful than others, but all doused with some unidentifiable seasoning...like what you might buy at the dollar store, with a "sell-by" date of three Januaries past.  Here, please have some.


"Is that Cosmo making biscuits on my bottom?  Mmmmm....now I'm hungry for biscuits."

"If a Genie Bra granted me three wishes, they would be 1) Cosmo would bake me some midnight biscuits, 2) my TV's volume would stop changing so drastically when my late night TV shows go to commercial breaks, and 3)  Genie Bra commercial people would stop using the word 'back fat.'"


Haven't seen the Genie Bra commercial?  Don't worry, I've got your back (fat):



Now that you've been properly sprinkled with Genie Bra goodness, let's return to my thoughts.

"I really have to go to the bathroom, but that would mean disturbing the cats draped across my legs and torso.  Hold it, hold it, hold it.... *seriously considers wearing Depends to bed, thus avoiding upsetting the cats' peaceful slumber*"

"What time is it?  Only 2:30 am?  Dear Genie Bra, I am ready to exchange my wish for consistent television volume to a wish for a larger bladder.  Thank you."

 

Guardian of the Garbage Bags

Because I love the photos of Cosmo hiding in the kitchen cabinets so much (and generally find myself laughing at a joke for days after everyone else has stopped laughing), I decided to share a close-up of Mr. Cosmo's silly shot with the bags and various paper products.  LOOK at him! Look at that face!

Seriously, now...how could I not still be laughing at this?  I've been thinking about the various titles I could choose to truly capture the mood of the photo.  I decided on Guardian of the Garbage Bags because I like the hard "g" sounds (I'm a sucker for alliteration) and the thought of someone seriously guarding a giant box of Costco garbage bags cracks me up in a huge way.  He does look pretty serious, though.  

Here are some other possible titles for the above photo:

Protector of the Paper Products

Costco Cosmo

Peeping Tom (ha ha...'cause he's a tom cat)

Cats: Better in Bulk

Cosmos' Best Roll Yet.

OK...I think it's out of my system now...maybe.

Send my Presents to the Looney Bin

My brain feels slightly unfocused this morning; it's the kind of day when one list becomes three... and pointless, random images pop in-between the really important ideas.  You know those kind of days?  My thoughts are rattling around my head like little balls in a bingo cage...

B-10:  I love my Crockpot.  I toss ingredients in its belly in the morning and come home to a delicious dinner in the evening.  It's just like magic.

I-6: I still need to mail Christmas packages today.  Speaking of magic, I'd like some of Santa's secret powers to jump to the front of the line at the post office later this afternoon!

N-14: I am grateful that my cats have never molested the Christmas tree.  I have learned, however, how to enjoy presents without pretty bows and ribbons.  The cats are total ribbon junkies -- I swear, they act like addicts desperate for their next fix when they spot a particularly festive package.  All three of them do!

G-2: I need to buy 93029384 types of batteries before Christmas.  Can't forget.  Where's that list?

O-22: It's only nine days til Christmas?  Did my cats rig up some sort of time-speed machine so they can receive their goody-filled stocking more quickly?  They must have because I have no idea how it got to be December 16.  Oh, and have I mentioned my son's birthday is tomorrow and we have two gatherings for him this weekend?  Pass the eggnog...with a shot of something stiff!

BINGO!!!

What did I win?

 

Too late, Phoebe...too late.

Please Pass the Frosting

Aside from being a cat person, I'm also what I'd consider a people person.  Mostly...when they're nice, anyway.  I love learning odd and quirky things about my friends; this is probably because it make me feel better about my own bizarre behavior.  In general, I think that cat people are peculiar in the best way possible.  With this in mind, I thought I'd share five of my (questionably) endearing quirks with you.  In return, please respond with something odd or interesting about yourself.  It'll be some good, freaky fun!

• I love cake frosting.  When I eat cake, I usually eat the cake part first and save the frosting for last.  I could eat have eaten an entire bowl of frosting in a sitting.  The same goes for chocolate chip cookie dough.  I'm defenseless against its sugary seduction.

• Those of you that are regular readers know that I have sort of a disturbingly vivid imagination.  I often picture my cats doing human things (especially in public) and think about how people would react to the silly situations.  Yesterday I was at the grocery store and immediately thought how funny it would be if one of my cats were sitting like a toddler in the seat of the shopping cart...you know, all strapped in, legs through the holes, wearing some denim overalls and a cute little red-checked shirt.  I think I may have started giggling as the scenario popped into my head.  This is me...all...day...long.  My husband is accepting condolences.  I'm accepting frosting.

• I'm a giant baby when it comes to scary movies and haunted houses.  Can't, won't, nope....

• I like to read the thesaurus.  I own two large ones, a pocket-sized one, and I have the website at the top of my bookmarks.  I'm a word nerd.  Lexicon lover. Vocabulary maniac. Jargon aficionado.

• Cosmo the cat joins me in the bathroom when I shower.  Many times, I make up songs and sing to him while I am showering.  He sits between the curtain and the liner and bats at me while I serenade him.  I'm pretty sure that means he loves my songs.  Pretty sure.

So there's a little peek into Angie's brain.  Still with me?  There's plenty more where that came from, but I promised to only embarrass my kids a little at a time.  I wonder if the cats are embarrassed by my strange thoughts and behavior?  Phoebe?

Good.  I don't want to lose my edge...  Now, what's one of your fabulous quirks?  Can you see me leaning in?  Do tell...

Whiskered Wisdom

Sometimes I feel like I juggle a dozen things at once.  When I feel overwhelmed with my ever-growing to-do list, I sometimes look to my cats to keep me grounded and moving in a slightly more sane (or less insane, as it were) direction.  These are some of their helpful reminders:

Take time for quiet meditation

Hugs and kisses are very important

Get in people's faces and ask for help

Remember to eat!

Sometimes it's ok to ask to be left alone

Thank goodness for my wise and helpful kitties!  I shudder to think about the maniacal mess I'd be without them!

A Titch on the Crazy Side

I'm officially, certifiably, unequivocally insane.  Seriously.  Really.  For suresies.  Some of you know that within the past week I decided to create another blog:  Katt Food.  Basically, it's a hilarious assortment of photos readers submit of their cats (katts) posing as or with food.  I am having a freezer-ful of fun with it, but wow...didn't realize how busy all of this would keep me!  Now my daily maintenance includes two blogs, two Facebook pages, two Twitter accounts, one website, and two e-mail accounts.  Oh, and then there's my personal Facebook page and e-mail (gotta have my Scrabblez). 

It's all good!  It's fun!  It's a hoot and a half! But I must say that my brain is busy trying to organize everything into lists, schedules, and categories.  This is nothing new....my brain does this all the time.  Control issues?  Maaaaaybe.  I think my brain is just figuring out that it needs to step up its game and start running with the big dogs....um, cats...um, katts.  Until then, I feel just a titch on the crazy side...kind of like this:

So please forgive me if I forget little things, mistakenly feed the cats macaroni and cheese, disappear from a Word Twist game for a day, or begin posing my children in roasting pans.  I promise...I'll be back to normal soon.  Normal?  Did I really type that??

I Just Wanted to Write About Cats

Admittedly, I'm primarily a right-brain thinker. Linear details and tech-talk often send me into fits of frustration, to the point where I hang a metaphorical "gone fishing" sign from my fatigued frontal lobe.

This tends to present a challenge when I set about to create something like...a website, for instance. Understanding the processes of domain registrations, domain redirection, hosting, and e-mail addresses have vexed my weary noggin for weeks. And, silly me, I'm embarking on a second website. It's a good thing I like lists because I have pages of passwords, changed passwords, e-mail addresses, usernames, and registry codes.

With time and the occasional expletive, it all seems to be coming together and my brain is learning to lean left, albeit languidly. I never wanted to be a techie...I just wanted to write about cats.

Midnight Mish-Mash

I woke up at a little after midnight last night and just could not manage to lull my jive-talkin' brain back to sleep. For a change of scenery, I moved to the sofa and lay there awake for nearly two hours. Here's a peek into the midnight mish-mash that moved through my mind.

• If I fall asleep now, I'd net about six hours of sleep.
• My hair smells good.
• I need a haircut.
• Tomorrow I might write a blog post about imagining my cats dressed in toddler clothing.
• If I fall asleep now, I'd net about five and a half hours of sleep.
• How many cats are on my legs?
• I have to remember to pay the car loan payment.
• My lips are dry. If I get up to grab my Burt's Bees, will it be harder for me to get back to sleep? Is it worth it?
• If I fall asleep now, I'd net about five hours of sleep.
• I think they replay The Daily Show around this time -- maybe I'll just watch TV.
• I'm sad that Steve Carell is leaving The Office. Will is still be as funny?
  
• My hair smells good.

Zzzzzzzz.....................

How Much "I" is TMI?

Around three this morning, I wasn't able to sleep so I decided to give up, get up, and do some writing. Even at 4am, even without coffee fueling my system, it was one of those blog entries that flowed so easily, like water used to flow down my bathroom sink drain (before giant clumps of Angie-hair completely clogged it...but that's another story for another day).

As I edited the finished copy, I began to wonder if what I'd written might be considered TMI for some readers. There was nothing graphic about the content, but it grazed the borders of woman-stuff and I know that some men (and even some women) feel a little edgy when anything in that estrogeneral area is mentioned. So I opted not to post it, even though my cat is really the main player in the piece and I really liked it. Now I am wondering if I was acting too co-dependently... After all, I am not responsible for how someone reacts to something I write AND the entry made me laugh so I'm sure it will jiggle someone else's funny bone too AND most likely someone else can relate to the story.

Alas, I decided to write a blog about the blog. I'm talking about me, who is often accused of a lifetime of over-sharing. Go figure.

Maybe I'll end up posting it later, but for now I need to see if we have some Drain-o and tackle that bathroom sink.

Proceed with Turtle-Like Speed

I've never been known for my patience. I have a history of getting excited about something and diving in head-first, telling myself I'll figure everything out along the way. The advantage to this mindset is that I'm not afraid to try something new. The defect of this approach is that I don't typically sit down and spend the time sometimes necessary to formulate an effective plan, thus resulting in a less-than-desirable end result. I sometimes laugh at myself...I'm a planner and a list maker by nature -- many times, almost to a fault. But when it comes to launching forward with a new idea, I go from 0-60 in five seconds, with no seat belt.

I just started working on a new project that could be completed at lightning speed and would probably emerge pretty favorably. But...I could also navigate the waters a little more cautiously, explore options, gather feedback, and cultivate an outcome of which I am truly satisfied and proud. This time around, I am moving ahead with the latter. This will be an experiment in patience, but I am certain that by the time I carefully apply the finishing touches, I'll be glad I suppressed my hasty handiwork. Or...I'll be ready to be fitted for my straight jacket.

Shenanigrams

I love word games, writing, and general silliness. Yesterday I was thinking that it might be fun to combine these interests into some regular blog entries. Enter my beloved Bananagrams game. I created a crossword based on my feelings, plans, thoughts, and general contents of my brain today...some content more serious than others, but hey -- that's just exactly what happens in my head! It's sort of like Facebook status line meets Scrabble game. Now if I could just somehow incorporate my love of bacon into this project...

I'm Serious This Time

Among 8q23492837 things (yes, there's a "q" in that number -- that's just how crazy-big it is), I am also working on focusing my thoughts these days. My mind tends to wander easily. Who am I kidding? It tends to sprint in a thousand different directions. You can imagine that this makes it difficult for me to accomplish something...anything, really. I'm extremely skilled in the area of distraction. Not to toot my own horn, but I'm pretty flawless. I'll start meandering down the road of Project 1 and soon my mind jumps to Project 2 and I'm off on a distraction detour with a stop at the Diversion Diner for some preoccu-pie.

This is all changing today. I'm going to work on writing projects all morning. I'm serious. I have a list, a timeline, and a sleeping cat in my lap -- I'm not going anywhere. Just to prove my determination, here's a haiku (because everyone knows haiku poetry is as solid as a pinky promise).

Assiduous aim
Never veering from the goal
I mean it this time.

For real...

Muddy Puddles

Now that my schedule has slowed a bit, I've been thinking about what I want to do with my time. Of course, that kind of thought process calls for a list. Do you really think I make any sort of decisions without listing and overly processing every piece of the process? Have you only just met me? If so...Hi, I'm Angie and I'm an obsessive list-maker and manic thought-dissector. Nice to meet you.

Anyway, I feel inspired lately to focus on creative projects, but as soon as I start to think about what I'd like to create, I become overwhelmed. Here's why...I find I have a difficult time with hooking on to one thing at a time. I want to do everything at once and then I get frazzled and then it's rare that a single project is seen though to completion (please see my previous post where I babble about dabbling).

So I have to break it down (said like the rapper that I am) into manageable portions, parcels, and pieces so I don't combust into a creative conflagration. I have to work at the slow-burn, minding the kindling of creativity. To some, this may sound like a simple process, but every day I work at keeping myself from drowning in my own ocean of overwhelming thoughts. Lists help.

I'd like to focus on writing -- maybe some fiction. It's been a while since I've written a short story or any serious poetry and that might be fun. I'd also like to sew some summery whatnots, design some new necklaces, and maybe make a fun mini-movie. See...I want to do all of this today and just thinking about it makes my breathing quicken and my chest tighten. So I think I'll just focus on writing for now. This week I will write a short story and call it good. I won't even think about the summery whatnots until next week.

I'm not even sure about the purpose behind this post, except to process what is going on in my brain and maybe share my inner struggles and how I wade through my often-muddy puddles of thought. I've found that when I add enough clear water to the mud, the puddles aren't so thick and mucky anymore...soon they are pretty transparent and I can see everything underneath them. Clarity.

Dabbling in Fastidious Daydreaming

I've previously written about my challenge with sticking with a project or hobby. I exude so much enthusiasm when I begin something, but in a few months (sometimes days) the feverish fancy fizzles and I am stuck with a tub of art supplies, beads, or some crazy thing that I swear I will pick up again later. I decided to embrace this part of myself and instead of labeling myself a "quitter," proudly wear the badge of "dabbler." Seriously...I possess partial skills in so many areas, but am not truly excellent in any one area. In my entire life, this blog is the only creative project with which I've stuck -- and I've been blissfully blogging for 16 months.

I was thinking about other ways I could turn my shortcomings around into more constructive classifications...

1. I'm not procrastinating -- I'm meditating on possibilities.
2. I'm not flaky -- I am a fastidious daydreamer.
3. I am not impatient -- I am results-oriented.
4. I don't create piles of paper on my kitchen table-- I am just really skilled at stacking things.
5. I never throw out important receipts, gift cards, and money -- See #2.
   
6. I'm not moody -- I am an emotional symphony.

There. I feel much better now -- much more positive about my quirks and imperfections. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some very important paper-stacking that is waiting for me.

Normal is a City in Illinois

I've been keeping sort of an erratic schedule since March. Between the shenanigans surrounding my 40th birthday, helping direct the school play, and the general madness that comes with family life, I sometimes feel like I'm barely hanging on with the tips of my anxiety-gnawed fingernails. And for someone who loves (obsesses) about structure, this kind of routine really wears on me like an itchy, ill-fitting corset (made of yak hair).

Just recently I thought to myself, "I can't wait until things get back to normal again." Normal? Is there really such a glorious thing as normal? What does normal even look like? At the time I hatched this pie-in-the-sky thought, I suppose I was thinking about a schedule in which I knew what to expect every day (insert eye roll and cackle here). I know, I know...but I at least like to know sort of how my day will present itself. I enjoy balancing my time between work, rest, and leisure activities. I could absolutely never be one of those people who races from one thing to the next until falling into bed, totally spent. This is especially important because I live with an autoimmune disease that rears its ugly head when this balance becomes...ummm....unbalanced.

To add an extra little crazy to my already special demeanor, I wrestle with anxiety and my ongoing, sometimes relentless pursuit of attempting to control my schedule (and well, most everything), and then experience stress when things don't work out just-so. This stress affects the autoimmune hoo-ha, thus creating someone I call Crazy Angie (although I'm certain my friends and family have chosen other endearing names for her).

Crazy Angie is not especially fun to be around and, as you can imagine, I do my best to avoid unleashing her too often. I'm sad to say that she's made her share of public appearances in the past couple of months, hence my longing for something I call normal. It's such a funny word. I never, ever like to think of myself as normal. I like my quirky outlook on life and I guess I'd even be somewhat offended if someone considered me normal or boring. So wishing for normal with regard to my personality or viewpoints would be silly. To me, weird = normal. So maybe I long for a boring schedule? Is that it? Do I really want to be that person who becomes so inflexible with her schedule that she can't meet a friend for an impromptu cup of coffee or game of Scrabble? I really hope not. I think normal is such a subjective word and maybe I just need to pick a different way to describe what I want to experience. Maybe it's just plain balance. And balance for me is different than balance for you or anyone else. I can still be quirky and off-center within the confines of balance. I can learn to say no if my schedule feels too full for me and my health feels out-of-sorts and I can work on releasing feelings of guilt surrounding all of that. I can know that my mental and physical health outweigh other people's expectations of what I should be doing.

I feel pretty self-aware and just have to remember to keep myself on track. I am also eliminating the word normal from my vocabulary. Normal, schmormal...I'd just rather be a very balanced Crazy Cat Lady.