Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Midnight Mental Popcorn
Sometimes when I'm stricken with insomnia, I snuggle up on the sofa with a cat or three and watch old sitcoms and infomercials. Sometimes (many times) my mind wanders and thoughts become pieces of mental popcorn, some more flavorful than others, but all doused with some unidentifiable seasoning...like what you might buy at the dollar store, with a "sell-by" date of three Januaries past. Here, please have some.
"Is that Cosmo making biscuits on my bottom? Mmmmm....now I'm hungry for biscuits."
"If a Genie Bra granted me three wishes, they would be 1) Cosmo would bake me some midnight biscuits, 2) my TV's volume would stop changing so drastically when my late night TV shows go to commercial breaks, and 3) Genie Bra commercial people would stop using the word 'back fat.'"
Haven't seen the Genie Bra commercial? Don't worry, I've got your back (fat):
Now that you've been properly sprinkled with Genie Bra goodness, let's return to my thoughts.
"I really have to go to the bathroom, but that would mean disturbing the cats draped across my legs and torso. Hold it, hold it, hold it.... *seriously considers wearing Depends to bed, thus avoiding upsetting the cats' peaceful slumber*"
"What time is it? Only 2:30 am? Dear Genie Bra, I am ready to exchange my wish for consistent television volume to a wish for a larger bladder. Thank you."