Friday, November 30, 2012

Friday Fanglish! Review Your Cat Slang Fluency!



Friday! It's time for Fanglish and this week we have a review of the past few weeks' lessons. Test your cat slang knowledge!


Ear-itation
Annoyance expressed by flattening the ears

The Lady removed Maurice from the counter and he responded with clear ear-itation.

Big Tipper
A cat who enjoys tipping over glasses of liquid

As The Lady left the room, she picked up her glass of water because she remembered Snowball was as a big tipper.

Writer's Block
A cat's ability to block a human's attempts at typing

Mittens walked across The Lady's lap and rubbed his face all over her computer, giving her extreme writer's block.

Eddie Vetter
A cat whose low howls on the ride to the vet sound not unlike the vocals of Pearl Jam singer, Eddie Vedder

Snowball didn't like riding to the vet with Maurice because he was a real Eddie Vetter.

Lord of the Flies
A cat who's trapped a fly between the sliding glass door and screen

Maurice became Lord of the Flies when a wayward fly thought he could escape through the screen door.

Window Shopping
The act of cats birdwatching through a window

While spending an entire afternoon window shopping, Snowball spotted the cutest little red number.

Sticker Shock
A cat's panic, realizing a sticker is stuck to his paw

Maurice experienced intense sticker shock when he walked across The Lady's return address labels.

Walking Papers
Any sort of paper (wrapping, news, copy) on top of which a cat feels he must walk

The Lady began wrapping birthday presents, therefore presenting Mittens with his walking papers.

Click for a full list of Fanglish terms

See you next week for another visit into the back alley world of Fanglish!





Thursday, November 29, 2012

If You Could, Would You Rename Your Cats?



Cat names are funny things. We usually give our cat a name within the first few days of meeting one another. The name could be based on a number of things, but mostly are chosen due to the markings or initial disposition -- this was the case with me, anyway. After sharing my home with three cats for anywhere from 7-11 years, I think I might have named them differently, if given the opportunity. In fact, these are some of the nicknames I call them by anyway.

Based on what I know about them now, here's what I'd probably name them:


Saffy

Hippo (in the sweetest, most respectful way possible, of course) because she's big, grey and loves to eat A LOT





Cosmo

Needy McDrool because he follows me everywhere, stares at me like a creeper and happy-drools all over me when he purrs ... bless his heart





Phoebe

Bossypant because 1) I love Tina Fey and 2) she's the bossiest, most loudmouth cat I've ever met. She's not even 7 lbs, but throws every bit of that weight around and has all the humans and the cats in our house completely whipped




If given the opportunity, what might you rename your cats?


Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Why a Cat is Better Than Housework



I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir here, but I just want to go on record as saying cats are waaaay better than housework. And yes, I'm prepared to plead my case:


#1: I think it would be a little uncomfortable and stinky to snuggle a mop or toilet brush. Gross.

#2: A cat is warm and fuzzy. A dirty bathtub is cold and maybe fuzzy, but not in a good way.

#3: I'd much rather fold my body around a cat than fold laundry. Consequently, the cat would rather let the laundry go unfolded as well.

#4: I prefer the purr of a cat to the purr of a vacuum cleaner.

#5: Going online to pay bills? Why not go online and look at cute cat videos? Why yes -- yes I will, thank you very much.




Monday, November 26, 2012

What Are My Cats Really Thinking?



Originally Posted 5/19/09






My cats amuse me on so many levels. I especially love it when they simply stand and stare at ... nothing. You know exactly what I'm talking about, right? They appear completely zoned-out, stuck on a layover in feline-la-la-land. My favorite position for this meditative pose is when they stare at a blank wall. What do they see? Are they visualizing a fresh paint job? Perhaps they are focusing their telekinetic powers to create a hole in the wall so they can escape to the outdoors, eat lots of grass and throw up on my entryway rug. Or maybe their thoughts are much like Homer Simpson's...you know, hula dancers and old timey cartoons of cows on a see-saw. Here are a few thought bubbles that I'm certain are floating above the fuzzy brows of my kit-kats:

Phoebe: I'd really like a good, long sniff of Cosmo's butt right now.

Cosmo: Is it possible to somehow open the cabinet doors above the fridge and confiscate the treat jar? Better ask for Phoebe's help on this one.

Saffy: Can I somehow slip my large, sheep-like grey body past Mom and Dad and eat the rest of Phoebe's breakfast?

Phoebe: Why does Saffy always eat my breakfast?

Cosmo: My mouth feels especially moist today.

Saffy: *cartoon mice on a see-saw*

Phoebe: I hope the humans don't find my secret stash of stolen bracelets and Little Debbies.

Cosmo: Why does the boy-child insist on holding me like a doll? I wish there were magical, free treat dispensers located in each room of this house. I wonder what Mama's doing right now. I hope she's buying that baby Snugli to carry me in. I love her so much. My mouth is really moist.

Saffy: I'm hungry. I wonder if there are any goodies on the kitchen counter. Does Phoebe have any breakfast left over in her bowl? I think I feel a hair ball coming on. *cartoon mice on a see-saw*.

Phoebe: Cosmo is in the other room and I can still smell his butt. Yum.


Sunday, November 25, 2012

Separated at Birth?




Originally posted 6/16/11




Saturday, November 24, 2012

Cats in Shopping Carts and Please Pass the Frosting




Originally posted 10/26/10


Aside from being a cat person, I'm also what I'd consider a people person.  Mostly...when they're nice, anyway.  I love learning odd and quirky things about my friends; this is probably because it make me feel better about my own bizarre behavior.  In general, I think that cat people are peculiar in the best way possible.  With this in mind, I thought I'd share five of my (questionably) endearing quirks with you.  In return, please respond with something odd or interesting about yourself.  It'll be some good, freaky fun!

  • I love cake frosting.  When I eat cake, I usually eat the cake part first and save the frosting for last.  I could eat have eaten an entire bowl of frosting in a sitting.  The same goes for chocolate chip cookie dough.  I'm defenseless against its sugary seduction.

  • Those of you that are regular readers know that I have sort of a disturbingly vivid imagination.  I often picture my cats doing human things (especially in public) and think about how people would react to the silly situations.  Yesterday I was at the grocery store and immediately thought how funny it would be if one of my cats were sitting like a toddler in the seat of the shopping cart...you know, all strapped in, legs through the holes, wearing some denim overalls and a cute little red-checked shirt.  I think I may have started giggling as the scenario popped into my head.  This is me.all.day.long.  My husband is accepting condolences.  I'm accepting frosting.

  • I'm a giant baby when it comes to scary movies and haunted houses.  Can't, won't, nope.

  • I like to read the thesaurus.  I own two large ones, a pocket-sized one, and I have the website at the top of my bookmarks.  I'm a word nerd.  Lexicon lover. Vocabulary maniac. Jargon aficionado.

  • Cosmo the cat joins me in the bathroom when I shower.  Many times, I make up songs and sing to him while I am showering.  He sits between the curtain and the liner and bats at me while I serenade him.  I'm pretty sure that means he loves my songs.  Pretty sure.

So there's a little peek into Angie's brain.  Still with me?  There's plenty more where that came from, but I promised to only embarrass my kids a little at a time.  I wonder if the cats are embarrassed by my strange thoughts and behavior?  Phoebe?


Good.  I don't want to lose my edge...  Now, what's one of your fabulous quirks?  Can you see me leaning in?  Do tell ...

Friday, November 23, 2012

Black Cat Friday: No Line!




Photo courtesy of my friend, Katy and her bossy black cat, Gorilla.



Thursday, November 22, 2012

Stuck at the Kids' Table on Thanksgiving





All of us at Catladyland are sending you and your loved ones 
heartfelt wishes of Thanksgiving and peace. 
We appreciate sharing smiles with you everyday!

Love, 
Angie, Saffy, Cosmo, and Phoebe

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Cats: The Worst Joke Tellers Ever



Originally posted Jun. 1, 2011



Lack of attention span makes cats the worst joke tellers ever.

Cat: Knock-knock

Human: Who's there?

Cat: Orange

Human: Orange who?

Cat: Knock knock

Human: Who's there?

Cat: Orange

Human: Orange who?

*silence*

Human: Orange who??

*silence*

Human: Hey -- where'd you go?  What's the rest of the joke?

*sound of cat licking butt*

Human: So sorry to disturb you...


Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Cats With Saddlebags? Why Not?


Originally posted 1/6/11


I adore my cats, but they are so … lazy.  Seriously, how many hours of shut-eye do these nap-happy felines need? I sometimes think about how much I’d enjoy their company even more if they could make more practical contributions to the household.  After all, they are domesticated, right?

  • You know that cute little kneading they do with their paws when they are purring?  How about kneading me up some fresh bread? Of course I’d require that they wear custom-fitted plastic gloves…and perhaps a whisker net.

  • I could fit my cats with adorable, yet functional saddlebags.  They could retrieve the mail, bring me the remote control, or even fetch me a piece of the delicious homemade bread.

  • Their paws are certainly small enough to swipe-clean those hard-to-reach areas underneath the stove and refrigerator. 

  • Great mouse-hunting skills?  Round up my lost car keys and then we’ll talk.

  • Their excellent climbing skills and ability to squeeze into small places make them the perfect candidates for maneuvering through the boxes in the crawl space and retrieving the tubs of Christmas decorations.

  • Since they don’t mind putrid smells, how about changing a diaper or two or disposing of that 6-week old Indian food in the back of the fridge?

See…there are a plethora of prospects for these lackadaisical loaves, if only they were willing participants.  Until then, I shall retrieve my own mail, drag out my own holiday d├ęcor, and maybe even learn to make homemade bread (or not). 

Saffy wants to help Mama. Really she does.
  

Monday, November 19, 2012

How to Steal a Catnip Banana


Originally posted Feb. 18, 2011

In my house, certain toys are prime property. No one expected the catnip banana to become such an object of divisiveness. The only toys that have rivaled the banana have been the beloved Tickle Pickle and the banana's predecessor, the catnip cigar (R.I.P.).


Step #1: Admire banana from afar.

Step #2: When banana-holder is looking away....

Step #3: Make a stealthy reach with that paw...

Step #4: Snag that banana!

Step #5: When confronted, act like you have no idea what he is talking about.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Friday, November 16, 2012

Friday Fanglish: Sticker Shock/Walking Papers


Friday means your weekly lesson in Fanglish! How about some cat slang?


Sticker Shock

A cat's panic, realizing a sticker is stuck to his paw.

Maurice experienced intense sticker shock when he walked across The Lady's return address labels.


Walking Papers
Any sort of paper (wrapping, news, copy) on top of which a cat feels he must walk.

The Lady began wrapping birthday presents, therefore presenting Mittens with his walking papers.


Click for a full list of Fanglish terms


See you next week for another visit into the back alley world of Fanglish!



Thursday, November 15, 2012

Feline Rescue: Give to the Max




I live in Minnesota and today GiveMN.org, an online nonprofit donation database, will allow Minnesota nonprofits to earn extra funding. Feline Rescue, Inc., a no-kill shelter in St. Paul will be one of the participating organizations.

Give to the Max Day is an annual 24-hour school and nonprofit fundraising opportunity. According to the GiveMN.org site, "Every donation you make gives your favorite organization the chance to win even more money. Hundreds of nonprofits and schools will offer the opportunity to double your dollars throughout the 24 hours."

Since the campaign's inception in 2009, donors have given more than $50 million to over 6,700 nonprofit organizations. During last year’s Give to the Max Day, 47,534 donors logged in and raised $13.4 million for 3,978 Minnesota nonprofits.

Feline Rescue offers rescue and relief to homeless and endangered cats with programs such as:
  • Shelter services
  • Foster Services
  • Spay/Neuter Subsidy
  • Social and Medical Rehabilitation
  • Feral and Stray Management
  • Community Education

To make a donation to help Feline Rescue with their ongoing efforts to benefit the feline health and welfare, please visit their Give to the Max page today. For additional ways to help the organizations, see the How to Help page on their site.

Now that all the business is out of the way, here's a cute photo of Mustafa, Feline Rescue's campaign mascot. Enjoy!



Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Funny Pets Add Life!



If you read Catladyland, I know you like to laugh ... and you know I like to laugh too. After all, this blog's tagline is Cats are Funny. My cats send me into giggle fits every day! I laugh especially hard when one of my cats wanders into a cabinet or pantry and I happen upon him/her when I open the door. Cosmo does this all the time.


I recently found Phoebe in the pantry counting crackers. Silly kitties.


What would we do without our sweet companions? I never, ever take them for granted because I know there are equally as sweet and loving cats living in shelters. Shelters do the best they can with available funding, but they need constant funding to care for the animals in their care. Pets Add Life (PAL) is having a Help a Shelter Out contest. Until November 16, on their Facebook page you can vote on a shelter to win substantial cash awards. The shelter with the most votes wins $10,000, second place is $3,000 and third place will receive $2,000!

The shelter winners will be announced on November 19, which is also National Get a PAL for your Pet Day! It's a day dedicated to celebrating and emphasizing the benefits of sharing our lives with multiple pets.

For more information about the PAL campaign, please visit their Facebook page, follow them on Twitter, and check out their super-cute, funny videos!

If you are a blogger and want to share a funny post about your pet, please join the blog hop!


Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Cat Seeks Fancy Mustard


Last week I asked Catladyland Facebook readers to caption a photo and we received over 40 suggestions! They were all creative contenders, but one really gave me a chuckle.Thank you, Joan R. for your winning entry. Love it!


Monday, November 12, 2012

What Would I Do Without My Cat's Help?


This weekend I finally got around to taking down the Halloween decorations. Of course I couldn't possibly manage this task by myself, right? Do your cats "help" you too?



Sunday, November 11, 2012

Gallery of Angry Snuggles



Originally posted on 12/3/11


In general, my cats are very affectionate with me ... on their own terms, that is. If I had to rate them 1-3 (1 being most affectionate), here'show the list would look:

1. Cosmo (again, only with me; he's a crankster with everyone else)
2. Saffy
3. Phoebe

If I were to rate them according to how cranky they look during an angry snuggle (1 being most sour-pussed), this is how the list would look:

1. Cosmo
2. Phoebe
3. Saffy

Please refer to below body of evidence to support the angry snuggle ranking:





I rest my case.




Saturday, November 10, 2012

What Do Cats Think About?



Saffy is a thoughtful cat. Mostly she thinks about food.


Friday, November 9, 2012

Friday Fanglish: Lord of the Flies/Window Shopping




What would Friday be without a fresh serving of Fanglish? Grab your pencils and let's learn some new cat slang!


Lord of the Flies

A cat who's trapped a fly between the sliding glass door and screen.

Maurice became Lord of the Flies when a wayward fly thought he could escape through the screen door. 


Window Shopping
The act of cats birdwatching through a window.

While spending an entire afternoon window shopping, Snowball spotted the cutest little red number.



Click for a full list of Fanglish terms


See you next week for another visit into the back alley world of Fanglish!



Thursday, November 8, 2012

What's Your Favorite Flavor? Cat Butt?



I was thinking it might be fun to develop cat food flavors. This year I had the pleasure of visiting Hill's and Purina and met learned people that do this for a living. It's such an organized and scientific process, much like a high school science project. I mean no disrespect to those with advanced degrees in this profession; it's just one very un-sciency girl's way to make sense of it in her head.

Simply going with what I know my cats like to smell/taste, here's what I'd recommend for cat food flavors:


  • Stinky sock
  • Greasy pizza box
  • Cat butt
  • Butter dish
  • Strange smells in the carpet
  • Window condensation


Based on experience with your cats, what kind of flavors would you recommend?




Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

A Great Day in Catladyland and His Head is in a Cheez-It Box


Guess what? At the recent Cat Writers' conference I won a Muse Medallion award for my Catladyland post entitled "Cosmic Love." Don't believe me? Here's a photo of the medallion and one of me wearing it.



I'm so grateful one of my posts was recognized by an organization for which I have massive admiration. I couldn't have done it without MY muse, Mr. Cosmo. Do you think he even cares about the award? No. All he care about is if he can fit his entire body into an empty box of Cheez-its.



Monday, November 5, 2012

What I Really Want to Do Today



Last night at 9 my flight arrived from L.A., where I'd attended the 2012 Cat Writers' Conference. My brain is on still west coast time, but my reality is Minnesota time, where it's not even the butt-crack of dawn and I need to get ready for work. Today I am once again jealous of my cats. What I wouldn't give for nice warm pile of laundry on which to lounge today.



Sunday, November 4, 2012

Meeting Jackson Galaxy



Yesterday was quite the day at Cat Writers' conference in LA! Although I've had the opportunity to talk with Jackson Galaxy from Animal Planet's My Cat from Hell on the phone, I've never met him face-to-bearded face (he's the one with the beard, by the way). Yesterday he spoke at the conference and I had the pleasure of chatting with him a few times. Yes, he is incredibly smart, nice and funny -- just like you think he is.


And like a silly fangirl, I had to take a photo of the inscription he wrote in my copy of Cat Daddy. If you haven't read it, you really must ... the book, not the inscription, but please read the inscription too. Join me in Fangirlland. Giggle, giggle.



Saturday, November 3, 2012

Cats Want Mom ... and Treats



Are you still gone, Mom? When are you coming back? When, Mom, when?


Don't worry your silly little head, Cosmo. Mom will be back from the Cat Writers' conference tomorrow night and you are in for a few treats.  Oh, and she gets to finally meet Jackson Galaxy today!


See you soon.

Love, Mom


Friday, November 2, 2012

Friday Fanglish: Roll of a Lifetime/Marky Mark and the Spunky Bunch



Welcome, Friday! Welcome, new cat slang terms! I hope you've been studying because there will be a quiz.


Roll of a Lifetime

A cat rolling in a perfect patch of dirt in a sunny spot.

Mittens found the roll of a lifetime in the field behind the Leibowitz house.


Marky Mark and the Spunky Bunch
A group of excited cats who enthusiastically mark everything in front of their noses.

When The Lady returned from a long day at work, she was greeted by Marky Mark and the Spunky Bunch.



Click for a full list of Fanglish terms


See you next week for another visit into the back alley world of Fanglish!



Thursday, November 1, 2012

Not on My Watch, Lady


Today I leave for the Cat Writers' Association conference. Yesterday as I packed, Cosmo had a thing or three to say about my leaving town again. It went something like, "Not on my watch, lady." Sorry, sweetie -- I shall return on Sunday with a suitcase full of goodies for you! Now kindly remove your fuzzy butt and let me pack.



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