Whatever your political affiliation, please indulge me as my overzealous imagination once again skids off the main highway and takes the uneven, gravel back roads to Crazy Town (of which I am the self-proclaimed mayor). Speaking of public offices held by unlikely, yet exceptionally well qualified parties, I was recently pondering the prospect of a president with a purr-box. What would happen if an American Bobtail occupied the Oval Office? What if a Sphynx signed and vetoed bills? Could a Siamese's sassy mouth win a debate? Here are my thoughts on some possible implications if a cat were elected president.
* A law would immediately be passed to mandate daily naps.
* There would be a strict requirement for playtime.
* There would be no need for a White House chef; a human with mad can opening skills would do the trick.
* Cat army = money saved on night vision goggles
* Government subsidies would be provided for eco-friendly cat litter.
* There would be a tax credit on each kitten that is spayed or neutered.
* Animal Planet reporters would have a front row spot at all press conferences
* Goodbye Rose Garden, hello Catnip Garden
* A position on the cabinet would be created for a rep from the Cat Fanciers' Association.
* The cat's uncanny ability to ignore people would help him maintain composure during debates and during appearances on Larry King.
* The new president's motto? "A mouse in every pot and a double-decker cat stroller in every garage."