Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Forget Chuck Norris -- Cosmo the Cat is the Spitting Image of Danger!

By now, most people have heard at least one ... or two hundred and one Chuck Norris jokes. Who dares to deny his legendary, tough-as-nails moxie? If I tried, he would roundhouse kick me, thereby tearing a hole in the fabric of space and time, which would suck me into a parallel universe filled with Chuck Norrises, all waiting to roundhouse kick me. Who would want that? Not me.

But wait...you're not out of the woods yet. In still another parallel universe lies a cranky, whiskered, tuxedo lad named Cosmo, who possesses a lesser known, yet equally venomous super-skill... danger-drool. Yes, you just read that. And before you set about scoffing at what seems to be nothing more than happy cat slobber, you best read on....

* The local fire department fitted Cosmo's mouth with an attachment for their hoses.

* The low lake and river levels have nothing to do with the weather... Cosmo giveth and Cosmo taketh away.

* During the California wildfires, the officials hung Cosmo from a helicopter. The flames completely extinguished in less than 20 minutes.

* The eye of any given hurricane begins in Cosmo's mouth.

* Cosmo was never mentioned or filmed as he hung, open-mouthed, over Jennifer Beals in her famous Flashdance dance sequence.

A roundhouse kick suddenly sounds like mere child's play now, huh?

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