Cat Lays Deviled Eggs -- Happy Easter!

In keeping with the egg theme today, I thought I'd haul out this weird little goody from a few years ago.  Happy Easter to you and your kitties! Hope you get some non-cat-produced eggs today!

Easter Haiku For Cats

It's Easter weekend and the cats are anxiously awaiting a visit from the Easter Bunny. What do excited cats do to pass the time? They write Easter haiku poems, of course! Here are a few I found scrawled in my cats' little notebooks.

You won't buy the stuff

But Easter grass looks festive

Hanging out my butt

Will you please hurry

And eat all that crap because

I want the basket

I saw that rabbit

And am confused by the fuss

I'm so much cuter

Fanglish Cat Slang Flashback: Getting Cheeky and Preoccupootion

Fanglish flashback! Please enjoy these terms from one of last year's lessons. And did you know Fanglish was featured on Catster yesterday? Hopefully, the cats won't notice. We don't want any trouble.

Getting Cheeky
The act in which a human decides, instead of disturbing a cat by moving her from a chair, to balance a single butt cheek on the edge of said chair.

The Lady immediately got cheeky when she noticed Snowball was fast asleep in her favorite chair. 


Preoccupootion
The concentrated look on a cat's face while she is relieving herself in the litter pan.

Maurice's preoccupootion could not be broken, even when Mittens kicked litter on him from a nearby box.

Click for Past Fanglish lessons


See you next week for another visit into the back alley world of Fanglish!

Cat Truth #640: Cats Like to Look Down on Humans

Cats feel superior to humans and are always looking for ways to out-cool us. I think part of their natural love of heights is a perfect opportunity to lord over humans from above.

Wordless Wednesday: I Will Cut You!

Friskies Photo Contest and Giveaway!

If you share your life with a cat, you know that sometimes buying expensive toys and accessories is pointless. You show them the fancy wand toy with all the dangly doo-thingies and they're nose-deep in the box in which it arrived.

Friskies knows this and has some fun and easy DIY project ideas for you and your cats! In the latest issue of Purina PURR, they offer tips for spiffing up a simple cardboard box to create a colorful, multi-level pussycat playground! And have you checked out their Pinterest page? FUN! They've pinned step-by-step instructions for creating cool DIY cat toys. I've already decided I'm making this one for my cats:

For full-sized image, click here.

But why should my cats and I have all the fun? Friskies wants you to try one of the ideas in PURR or on their Pinterest page and send us a photo of your cat playing with the cool new DIY project! We'll randomly select a winner from all submitted photos and that lucky reader will receive coupons for FIVE free cans of Friskies! Catladyland will submit the winning photo to Friskies for a change to be featured in the summer issue of PURR! How cool is that?

And you know you won't be creating alone. As soon as you pull out the markers, tape, scissors and glue, your nosy cats will be all up in your business. At least that's how it is in my house!

My cats' Kitty Village could use some blingity-bling. Off to find markers!

Contest Details:

• Submit your photo by 12:00 p.m. CDT, April 1, 2013 to catladyland@gmail.com. Use "Friskies DIY Photo" as the e-mail title.
• The contest is open to readers in the 48 states.
• Winners will be chosen via randomizer.org.

Good luck!

I've Said My Blog is Full of Ridiculous Cat Humor, Right? Exhibit A

Cats and preteen-boy humor. 

I love it when two of my favorite things come together.

Separated at Birth?

Originally posted 6/16/11

Suddenly I'm very hungry.

Humans Having Cat Thoughts? Yes, Please!

Originally published October 7, 2011

I love imagining my cats doing silly human things and thinking outrageous human thoughts, but what if it were the other way around?  What if my cats wrote a blog that featured me thinking cat thoughts?  What would that look like?  Would you read this blog? Hmmmm...

That's all I have time for right now; I need to hit the litter box.

Friday Fanglish: Bug Eyes and Meyawn

Ready or not, here comes cat slang!

Bug Eyes
A cat's narrowed eyes when stalking a bug

Maurice had major bug eyes as the ant crossed the kitchen floor.


Meyawn
A meow and yawn that happen simultaneously 

Snowball's meyawn indicated he was torn between napping and going back for seconds of dinner.


Click for a full list of Fanglish terms

See you next week for another visit into the back alley world of Fanglish!

Cat Truth #178: Cats Will Sleep on Anything

First of all, how is a 24-pack of plastic water bottles remotely comfortable? Cats just don't care. Anything open surface is open game for them. There was probably a nice basket of laundry on the other side of the room, but she chose the "water bed." Just to be contrary, of course.  "I'll show them I can rest comfortably on anything!" Or maybe the bottle caps hit pressure points and this was actually a spa experience. Whatever the case, cats are just plain weird and trying to explain anything they do is an exercise in futility.

Wordless Wednesday: Eye See You

Guess What I Got For My Birthday?

Yesterday was my birthday and I received a couple of surprise gifts. Guess what they were? Really, guess -- what are you, lazy? Kidding! OK, I'll just tell you. Well, aside from the giant snowstorm that blessed my commute with endless adventure, Catladyland was chosen as a finalist for Best Humor Blog in the BlogPaws Nose-to-Nose Blogging and Social Media Awards! How cool is that?

In May, I'll travel to the D.C. area for the BlogPaws conference (it will be my 5th year!) and the awards ceremony will take place on the final evening of the shingdig. The winners in each category will receive a super-cool trophy and be included in a collective donation of an embroidered police vest for the Arlington Police Department K-9 officer, Hugo. Also donated will be a collection of small animal oxygen makes to local fire departments. Nice!

BlogPaws reported nearly 1,000 nominations and we are honored to be among the 48 finalists. And many of our blogger friends made the cut as well -- congrats to everyone! So thank you for the nominations and for sharing laughs with Saffy, Cosmo Phoebe and me every day! You're the cat's meow, the cream of the crop and the total shizz.

You think I'd forget? You remind me every day.

Cats Ignore Us Unless ...

You know that thing a cat does when he's obviously ignoring you? That twitch of the ear and flick of the tail, but blatant refusal to directly make eye contact? But open the pantry or pull out the can opener and suddenly he's your best friend. Yeah, that thing.

And This Is Why Even Cats Shouldn't Party Too Hard on St. Paddy's Day

That's the trouble with going out and having just a little too much fun -- you sometimes wake up full of regret. And next to people you don't recognize.

Laser Eyes Are Ready to Watch You Pee

My cats love watching me do all things bathroom-related. Look at Cosmo beckoning me with his laser eyes. He can hardly wait.

Friday Fanglish: The Hunger Games / One Bitten, Twice Cry

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for Fanglish cat slang.

Hunger Games
The racing around and meowing that happens while a human prepares cat food

The Lady grabbed the can opener, signaling the opening of the hunger games.


Once Bitten, Twice Cry
How a cat feels when, after eating a bite or two of food, he cries to have his bowl filled again because it's "empty."

Maurice was once bitten, twice shy, but The Lady was having none of it and told him to finish his food.

Click for a full list of Fanglish terms

See you next week for another visit into the back alley world of Fanglish!

Cat Truth #810: You Have Something? It Must Be Full of Awesome

If someone else already has it, it must be full of awesome, right? With three cats, someone is always bound to be in a state of jealousy. Usually it's about food or toys, but after eating and playing come sleeping. And there can be a kajillion fuzzy blankets, warm beds, and kick-butt boxes scattered in all corners of the house -- it doesn't matter. "She's sleeping in the upper right corner of the sofa? Well, that's where I need to be. Now."

Wordless Wednesday: What's Cuter Than a Sleepy Kitty?

What Cat Nirvana Looks Like

Cat logic: If one basket is awesome, two must be over-the-top tremendous. Add a double-dollop of warm laundry and we may never see Phoebe again.

Pussycat Playboy Has an Internet Addiction

I'm going to let you in on a little secret:  Cosmo has a little Internet addiction. I've had to change my laptop's password several times, but he's quite the hacker. And he loves the ladies. Certainly he's neutered, but he still considers himself a pussycat playboy. Put the two together and, well, they just spell trouble. And a need for yet another password.

The Cat Perks of Springing Ahead

Dear Mom,
We just wanted to let you know we strongly approve of this morning's feeding schedule. We're not quite sure what all this "springing ahead" business is, but if it means we unexpectedly get fed earlier than usual, we are 100% onboard. I mean, seriously -- we were just gearing up to begin the typical one-hour-before-mealtime-running-around-and-whining show and suddenly you were placing our bowls before us. Are we being rewarded or are you just starting to get psychic? Whatever the case, please know we are very cool with it. And since this worked out so well, perhaps you'll consider moving it up an hour each day? Just an idea. Are we being greedy in our hopes it will happen again tonight? Surely we can't be that lucky.

Psychic or not,
You rock pretty hard,
Saffy, Cosmo and Phoebe

We'll be waiting an hour earlier tonight -- just in case.

A Cat Girl From Way Back: My Silly Cat Pics From Days of Yore

Last night I was looking through some old photos that I hadn't seen in years and years and years. In the pile of pics were some real gems: photos of my childhood cats! Somehow I'd forgotten how cat-crazy my family was -- honestly, I was surprised that half our photos included at least one of us holding a cat! So I guess it's in the genes. Here are just a couple of fun ones.

So much early 80's goodness in this photo! First of all, I'm on the left wearing a Duran Duran shirt -- Seven and the Ragged Tiger, if I'm not mistaken -- and I'll take this moment to mention I had a Tiger Beat photo of John Taylor slid inside the plastic cover of my Trapper Keeper with the kittens on it. Remember that one? I found one online right here. They're calling it vintage. Oy. Also, our black male cat named Sidney was subjected to wearing my adoption doll clothes. Poor cat. My younger sister and her friend were there, too. With me as a role model, she had no chance of normalcy. None, whatsoever.

Here we are on Christmas morning. I think I was in 9th grade. My little sister was holding Skippy, who we called Sheepy because he was soft as a lamby. I'm holding our teeny tuxedo girl, Bobbi. My mom found her when she was just six weeks old. She'd been abandoned and Mom fed her with a dropper til she was old and strong enough to feed herself. Mom is still a good egg and my cat lady role model.

Here I am with Sheepy. He was awesome, floppy and put up with my crap like nobody's business. Also, please note the heavily-tinseled tree. That was back in the day when we loaded the silver stuff on the branches 'til they drooped and then spent a good month pulling strands of it out of cat butts. We've come a long way since then. Tinsel = bad.

Proof of Sheepy putting up with my crap. Also proof of my sweet asymmetrical haircut.

Christmas morning -- 8th grade. It was a making-cat-ears-with-my-fingers kind of exciting day. Note to my sister: You're welcome for cutting most of your candy-striped butt out of this shot.

That was the year Santa brought me my very first typewriter. It was seriously my Red Ryder of Christmas gifts. I mean look at it! It's ridiculously cool! The color was fabulous and probably matched the eye shadow I wore at the time. And it was electric ... and came with correction tape. At the time I was the news editor for my middle school paper, so this typewriter would go on to produce many an important article about school lunches and student council elections. Glory, glory hallelujah! My life would never be the same again.  

So these photos may explain a little bit about how I turned out the way I did. It's funny -- back then, I never would have guessed my penchant for pussycat humor and love of writing would eventually turn into a source of crazy passion and even income. But I also thought I'd probably marry John Taylor, so there's that.

Friday Fanglish: Precursor / Licker License

Friday means Fanglish! Time for two more cat slang terms you can add to your list of "secret cat stuff I know."


Precursor
The intense focus preceding a cat's attack of a moving cursor on a computer screen

Maurice crouched into precursor mode while he watched The Lady shop online.


Licker License
A cat's self-assigned permission to lick dirty pans in the kitchen sink

Snowball 's licker license expired when The Lady walked in the kitchen.

Click for a full list of Fanglish terms

See you next week for another visit into the back alley world of Fanglish!

Cat Truth #256: The Cat Vs. Boxes Formula

It's true, right? One box and multiple cats just spells trouble. Like my 5th grade teacher used to say about my chewing gum, don't have any unless you've got enough to share with everyone.

Wordless Wednesday: Cat-n-Mouse-n-Tongue

Alas, No Cat on Project Runway

Cosmo had big dreams. 

I Love Mondays -- No Lie

I love every day of the week and I'm not even kidding. Even Mondays. I can usually find something positive about most anything and the day most people loathe is no exception. Here's what I enjoy about the day people love to hate:

1. It's a fresh start -- I can set the tone for my entire week. If I want a great week, I'm not going to get out of bed and start complaining about my foot squishing in a fresh hairball. I'll save that for Friday, when I know I have an entire lazy weekend ahead of me and I can quickly cure my crankiness with a bad Lifetime movie and some ice cream.

2. I enjoy routine and Monday gets me back on track. I like a few days -- or even a whole week -- of flying by the seat of my pants, but I enjoy getting up at the same time and kind of having a plan. And the cats are not fans of my sleeping in. In fact, they're pretty vocal about it.

3. I love my work bag. It's covered in little birdies and I always smile when I feast my eyes upon it.

4. When I'm not using it, there's usually a cat inside my work bag. I sometimes pretend like she thinks she's going to work and then I stop. Cats exerting effort for anything that doesn't directly benefit them is laughable. Still, she's looks adorable.

Show Us Your ... Bloggy Love!

It's that time again! Time to nominate your favorite pet-lovin' blogs for a BlogPaws Nose-to-Nose Blogging and Social Media Award! Last year we were a finalist for Best Humor Blog and, alas, did not win, but were grateful to be in the company of the other hilarious and talented finalists.

We hope you'll nominate us again, as well as show some love to other pet blogs by nominating them in the applicable categories. Here's what you need to do:

Click here to nominate Catladyland as Best Humor Blog.

Here's the info you'll need:

Homepage: www.catladyland.net

Blog Owner: Angie Bailey

E-mail: catladyland@gmail.com

Facebook Page: Catladyland

Twitter Handle: @catladyland

To nominate your other favorite pet blogs, click here. Nominations close on March 8, at 3:00 p.m. EST.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for considering nominating Catladyland! Saffy, Cosmo, Phoebe and I are grateful to share the silliness with you each and every day!

An Open Lap is Open Game

Resposted from June 6, 2011


How could I possibly write anything without "help?"  Look familiar?

Cosmo, my furry wrist rest

Still working on the same blog post: enter Phoebe

Two cats waiting for the magic lap to return

I don't think I'd know how to type without a cat on my lap!

Fanglish Flashback: Vintage Cat Slang

Today we are flashing back to a couple of vintage Fanglish terms. Well, they're only a few months old, but still. Here's your retro-cat slang, yo.

Kneadlepoint

The exact center of a human's full bladder that, when kneaded, creates a look of pain on a human's face

This morning, I knew I'd hit The Lady's kneadlepoint when she said a bad word and ran to the bathroom.

Spurn-n-Turn

The act of turning one's head quickly at precisely the moment a human presses the camera button to take a photograph of you

I showed The Lady I was tired of posing in the pink tutu by giving her a few spurn-and-turns until she put the camera away.

Click for a full list of Fanglish terms

See you next week as we pick up brand new terms on our weekly visit into the back alley world of Fanglish!