By now everyone in the free world is acquainted with the cushy magic of the Snuggie, "the blanket with sleeves," that has become the must-have for the practical couch potato who fancies himself a fleecy fashionista. What's not to like? Imagine yourself wrapped in warmth from head to toe, while enjoying the freedom of eating a bowl of popcorn, reading the latest US Weekly, or updating your Facebook status (Angie is... enjoying the blankie of love that is her Snuggie). In a country where competition is king, certainly the Snuggie couldn't blanket the entire market on common-sense coziness. Enter the Slanket, QVC's answer to staying toasty while easily reaching for the remote to enjoy a little home shopping. The Snuggie and the Slanket are basically the same genius design; however, while examining the commercials for both, I noticed one major difference. It seemed like the people bundled in the Snuggie were much happier - they smiled, laughed, played backgammon, went to football games, and toasted marshmallows. I felt happy after viewing the Snuggie commercial and wanted the rosy-cheeked little Snuggie-girl to pass me a s'more. The folks in the Slanket commercial were another story althogether - the commercial looked more like an ad for Cymbalta. The Slanket hung from their lifeless limbs as they did nothing much more than scowl, sleep, drink alcohol, and sit hunched over a computer. These people looked miserable! Does the Slanket have itchy tags? Is it made from a blend of cotton, polyester, and suicidal sheep's wool? Plus, who can smile wearing something called "Slanket?" Really. It's a good thing the Slanket has sleeves so they have easy access to their Oxycodone and gin. See for yourself.
First up, the shiny happy Snuggie-people:
For your consideration, the sad-sack Slanket slackers:
After watching the last commercial, QVC can't offer me enough free, creepy Marie Osmond dolls to buy into the head-to-toe blanket of bleakness that is the Slanket. Now pass me that s'more!