Sunday, January 25, 2009

Morning Math

7:00am is the desired departure time for school. At 6:57, one glove is missing, lunches remain unpacked and a crumpled, overdue permission slip is suddenly unearthed from the bowels of a backpack. What time does the school-bound van leave the driveway?

a. 7:10 - glove found on the floor of the garage, quick peanut butter sandwiches slapped together, permission slip signed with Hello Kitty pencil, mother vows to wake everyone up 15 minutes earlier the next morning.

b. 7:15 - glove found inside snow boot (cat puke scraped off), lunch money tossed in the general direction of children, permission signed with nub of periwinkle crayon found on kitchen floor, mother is one step away from a vodka breakfast smoothie.

c. 7:20 - Mother decides 1) sweat socks dug out of the hamper make fine gloves 2) What kid wouldn't want a Ziplock of Froot Loops, pretzels and croutons with a side of string cheese for lunch? 3) Kids of mothers who sign permission slips with red-berry lip liner should be given extra credit for having cool and creative parents 4) Mothers who can make it out the door on time are either evil robots or are making their kids sleep in their school clothes.

1 comment:

  1. And so the dance goes every morning. And, yes, they are evil robots.


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