Thursday, January 22, 2009
When I signed on to be a multiple cat owner, I proceeded with a few simple presuppositions:
1. I'd need an extra litter box
2. More cats = more food bowls
3. I'd start pricing an external hard drive to house all the extra cat photos
All of my expectations were met and, in addition, I suddenly found myself a student in a midnight yoga class for which I don't remember registering. As my cats constantly stretch and switch their placement, they force me to braid my body into the most awkward and arduous positions. While my husband enjoys a first class ticket to Snoozeville, these fuzzy-footed yogis quietly coach me into a host of peculiar poses:
Pose #1 = Hamstring Hullabaloo: The cats like this one because of the inferred pork connotation.
Pose #2: The Running Man: the benefit of this pose is added back warmth on cold nights; the drawback is Cosmo's happy drool soaking through the back of my jammie top.
Pose #3: The Cat Tree of Life: An extra cat is added and the felines enjoy the spiritual unity of this pose. Note to self: purr-guided meditation does not relieve the painful charley horses garnered from this position.
Pose #4: The Angle Tangle: The pillow is catnapped, allowing the neck to enjoy hours of unfettered (*cough* uncomfortable *cough*) pleasure (*cough* agony *cough*) and the opportunity to visualize the halting of the imminent headache.
Pose #5: Full Sofa Recline: After hours of maintaining body-bending poses, I retreat to this pose for a few hours of uninterrupted slumber.
Who knew owning multiple cats would be such a stretch?