Thursday, January 22, 2009

Midnight Yoga

When I signed on to be a multiple cat owner, I proceeded with a few simple presuppositions:

1. I'd need an extra litter box
2. More cats = more food bowls
3. I'd start pricing an external hard drive to house all the extra cat photos

All of my expectations were met and, in addition, I suddenly found myself a student in a midnight yoga class for which I don't remember registering. As my cats constantly stretch and switch their placement, they force me to braid my body into the most awkward and arduous positions. While my husband enjoys a first class ticket to Snoozeville, these fuzzy-footed yogis quietly coach me into a host of peculiar poses:

Pose #1 = Hamstring Hullabaloo: The cats like this one because of the inferred pork connotation.

Pose #2: The Running Man: the benefit of this pose is added back warmth on cold nights; the drawback is Cosmo's happy drool soaking through the back of my jammie top.

Pose #3: The Cat Tree of Life: An extra cat is added and the felines enjoy the spiritual unity of this pose. Note to self: purr-guided meditation does not relieve the painful charley horses garnered from this position.

Pose #4: The Angle Tangle: The pillow is catnapped, allowing the neck to enjoy hours of unfettered (*cough* uncomfortable *cough*) pleasure (*cough* agony *cough*) and the opportunity to visualize the halting of the imminent headache.

Pose #5: Full Sofa Recline: After hours of maintaining body-bending poses, I retreat to this pose for a few hours of uninterrupted slumber.

Who knew owning multiple cats would be such a stretch?


  1. OMG you're killing me here :p Awesome entry!

  2. There is no mention of the soothing qualities of cat drool!!

  3. We have a simple solution for this one.... Wait for it..... Doors. :)

  4. OMG, you are too funny! You should do this for a living!!

    -Cats rule, dogs drool!-

  5. This is hysterical! And only someone who has lived it can relate fully! "Running Man" almost made me pee my pants, I laughed so hard!

  6. #1 happens EVERY night in our house. Jason is oblivious and I wake up feeling like a pretzel.

  7. I know the feeling so well. Odd thing is, even though he insists they are my cats and my cats only, they usually end up causing him all the problems at night. (We have one that likes to jump up into the middle of the bed around 2am and yell his highest pitched meow - "ARE YOU AWAKE." Then, when he are fully awake, he leaves.)

    This is why the hubs no longer lets them sleep in the room with us. *sigh*


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