Thursday, January 31, 2013

Cat Truth #457: Feline Chair Occupation


It's true, right? I can 99.8% guarantee when I pull a dining room chair out so I can sit and eat dinner, a cat will be loafed square in the middle of it. I try to squeeze in beside her, but alas, my butt can only balance on one cheek for so long. 



Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Cats Know When to Cute It Up


Cats are smart -- they know when to cute it up.
And us? Suckers.


Monday, January 28, 2013

Laser-Eyed and Syncronized



I recently ran across these old laser-eyed cat photos and decided to share them again. The poses make me laugh and, for once, the girls are in agreement about something. And my cats are aliens.





Sunday, January 27, 2013

Flat-Bottomed Girl



Originally posted on 9/25/11.



I placed a clear box on the kitchen floor and, in typical cat-fashion, it became occupied in .23678 seconds by one surly-looking Phoebe.


We decided it would be funny to see what flat-bottomed Phoebe looked like so we lifted the surly girl off the ground.


I think it looks kind of artsy-fartsy, don't you?  Sort of like fancy sand art or something.  Hey -- flat-bottomed cat art could be the next new happenin' trend!  Don't tell Phoebe about my idea, though...she'll want at least an 80% cut.  


What do you think?

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Who's the Boss? Not Tony Danza.


Here's a rare photo of all three cats looking at the camera. You can really see the size difference between all of them. Look how tiny Phoebe is. Now ask who's the boss of all the cats and humans in our house. Not Tony Danza.



Friday, January 25, 2013

Jealousy is Not Becoming


Today we are taking a break from Friday Fanglish to bring you a photo of one very jealous cat. We'll be back on track next Friday with new cat slang terms just for you! Have a great weekend!




Thursday, January 24, 2013

Cat Truth #902: Humans Make Us Cranky


Cats feel we our only priority in life is serving them. 
We are very tall butlers.


Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

My Cats Don't Eat Pizza


This is an old photo of Saffy. I posted it a year or two ago and someone went after me for feeding my cat pizza. For the record, my cats probably don't even like pizza. They're not even Italian.


Monday, January 21, 2013

Cat Math



Reprinted from October 3, 2011



I've never been especially great at math, but I totally get this one.





Sunday, January 20, 2013

Free Cranky Cat Face


Because you don't see enough cranky cat faces, right? 
Well, here's another.


Saturday, January 19, 2013

Sometimes You Just Want Some Alone Time in a Box


Sometimes you just want some alone time in a box, right? Sometimes certain somebodies prevent that from happening.



Friday, January 18, 2013

Friday Fanglish: Kickboxer/Bum Rush



It's Friday Fanglish time again -- ready or not, here comes this week's cat slang terms!


Kickboxer

A cat who uses his back legs to kick litter out of the litter box

The Lady didn't like cleaning up after Mittens because he was a total kickboxer.


Bum-rush

A cat's tendency to flash his bottom directly in front of a human's face 

The Lady placed Snowball in her lap and he immediately bum-rushed her.




Click for a full list of Fanglish terms

See you next week for another visit into the back alley world of Fanglish!





Thursday, January 17, 2013

Cat Truth #210: The Food is Always Better on the Other Side


Saffy isn't the only one of my three that feels this way; she's just a piggie so I see her do it more often.


Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Downloading Cat Butt



I've been favoring Phoebe in my posts lately, but she's totally been my little office assistant and provided me with a comic relief as I've been working long hours to finish my manuscript. I know my screen shows Facebook, buy hey -- I can take a break now and again. Don't get judgey.

I was recently typing and looked up to see Phoebe had squatted on my external hard drive. I can't know for sure, but I think she was downloading herself in case she wanted to nap. Then I'd still have a copy of her to walk across my laptop, flash a butt in my face, and knock my pens on the floor. She's so thoughtful like that.



Monday, January 14, 2013

Mouse Hunt


Phoebe likes to sit behind my laptop when I work and mostly sleep, but sometimes she peeks out at me. If she's feeling playful, she bats at my hand while I operate the mouse. I think she brags to all her friends about what a great mouser she is. I won't rat her out.



Sunday, January 13, 2013

And She's Not Sharing


Phoebe is a heat vent hog. Look at her, all toasty and smug. Cosmo wants to share the cozy, but this is as close as he gets. Ever. Phoebe is like that kid in kindergarten who never shares her crayons. 



Saturday, January 12, 2013

Hurling or Yawning?



Mid-yawn photos always crack me up. Sometimes the cat looks like she's laughing super-hard and sometimes she just looks sleepy. I love this one I took of Phoebe because it looks like she's gonna hurl. Wouldn't be the first time a cat has puked on my bed.



Friday, January 11, 2013

Fanglish Review Time!


Well, it's been a while since our Fanglish cat slang review and some of you probably haven't been keeping up every week so here we go ... let's take a look back at the last few weeks' terms. And there may be a pop quiz somewhere down the road so make sure and take it all in, kittens!

Writer's Block
A cat's ability to block a human's attempts at typing

Mittens walked across The Lady's lap and rubbed his face all over her computer, giving her extreme writer's block.

Eddie Vetter
A cat whose low howls on the ride to the vet sound not unlike the vocals of Pearl Jam singer, Eddie Vedder

Snowball didn't like riding to the vet with Maurice because he was a real Eddie Vetter.

Lord of the Flies
A cat who's trapped a fly between the sliding glass door and screen

Maurice became Lord of the Flies when a wayward fly thought he could escape through the screen door. 

Window Shopping
The act of cats birdwatching through a window

While spending an entire afternoon window shopping, Snowball spotted the cutest little red number.

Sticker Shock
A cat's panic, realizing a sticker is stuck to his paw

Maurice experienced intense sticker shock when he walked across The Lady's return address labels.

Walking Papers
Any sort of paper (wrapping, news, copy) on top of which a cat feels he must walk

The Lady began wrapping birthday presents, therefore presenting Mittens with his walking papers.

Covering a Lot of Ground
The act of a cat "covering" an invisible spot on the ground

Mittens wanted to play with Maurice, but he was busy covering a lot of ground.

Skirt Chaser
A cat who chases toys in and around a Christmas tree skirt

The Christmas tree skirt was always crumpled because Mittens was a real skirt chaser.

Pawtluck
The serendipity of running one's paw under a piece of furniture and discovering previously lost toys

Mittens rejoiced in the pawtluck of finding his long-lost jingle mouse under the bookcase.

Conquistadoor
A cat who tries to conquer a door that stands between him and a human by batting, banging, or sliding his paw under the door

The Lady could never close the bathroom door because Maurice was a total conquistadoor.

The Food Network
Two or more cats who, after gobbling their own food, move in on the slow-eating cat's food dish

Mittens tried to eat faster because she felt the food network closing in on her.

Rearview
The cat rear that invariably shows up in the human's face during a session of petting

Maurice enjoyed The Lady's scritches and offered her a rearview.



Remember to stop back next Friday for brand new Fanglish terms.
Click here for the complete Fanglish dictionary!





Thursday, January 10, 2013

Cat Truth #422: Math Proves Cats Are Powerless Against the Box


Two things bring cats out of a dead sleep: the sound of a can opener and the vibe of a new box in the house. They are powerless over the box ... and if there's stray packing tape hanging off one of sides, even better.

I have the math to prove it:

If a box is traveling into the house at 2 miles and hour and a cat is sleeping at 0 miles per hour, how long will it take for the cat to inhabit the box? (answer below)



Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Bum Lickers, Present and Accounted For

Originally posted October, 2011

Wave your paws in the air!


Monday, January 7, 2013

One Sunny Cat Ear


Sometimes one ear wants full sun and one just doesn't. 
For Phoebe, this is one of those days.


Sunday, January 6, 2013

Purr-muda Triangle


Happy Sunday.
You get the Purr-muda Triangle.


Saturday, January 5, 2013

Look at the Camera. No.


I take a fair amount of cat photos. 
The cats refuse to cooperate with 96.5% of them.


Friday, January 4, 2013

Friday Fanglish: Lay Misérables/Nerves of Steal



It's Friday Fanglish time again! FYI: I had to type today's selections whilst hiding under the covers because I think my cats are onto me. So beware ... they are watching and should they discover we are becoming hip to their secret lingo, we'll all be paying for it. 

Now, with extreme caution, I present you with this week's cat slang terms.


Lay Misérables

A cat's cranky disposition after being picked up and moved to lie in a different location

Snowball was completely Lay Misérables when The Lady relocated him to the sofa.



Nerves of Steal

The audacity of a cat who repeatedly steals other cats' food

Maurice and Snowball looked over their shoulders while eating because they knew Mittens had nerves of steal.


Click for a full list of Fanglish terms

See you next week for another visit into the back alley world of Fanglish!





Thursday, January 3, 2013

Cat Truth #698: If Given the Choice, a Cat Will Hack on Carpet


We have both carpet and hard surfaces in our house and when I hear the telltale sound of pre-hairball hacking, I may as well just assume the cat is sitting on the carpet ... less than a foot away from the hard surface. Sometimes I race over, pick up kitty and try to make it off the carpet before the hairball makes landfall. On occasion we make it and most times we don't, but I'm always thankful there's no hidden camera watching me run this manic maneuver.


Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Midnight Butt-Sniff Snub



Hoping you were on the receiving end of  lots of midnight kisses or butt-sniffs.
 I was sleeping.

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