Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Tethered and Unhinged: The Pet High Chair

Quick...who wants to chuck $50 down a rat hole?? Look no further, friends -- thanks to my friend, Linda, I now give you the Pet High Chair. The fine folks at Hammacher Schlemmer assure us that this chair, "assuages a pet (and its owner's) frustration, and promotes more refined behavior." Hold on a minute because this bears repeating... "promotes more refined behavior." I think Hamshabamma (or whatever their name is) needs to come to my house at dinnertime and attempt to wrangle one of my cats into this device. Yes...this little slice of ingenuity is for dogs and cats. Can you even imagine asking your cat to sit still and act refined? At the dinner table? While you are trying to eat your spaghetti and whatnot? Pshaw!

Plus, look at that dog's face. He's obviously just a titch unhinged (undoubtedly like his owner). He's not acting refined...he's got his wild eye on your steak! Habashmimberrr also wants us to know that, "
two tethers on the chair protect your dinner guests against any lapses in etiquette." Seriously? Those two tethers are supposed to prevents lapses in etiquette? Does it prevent the drizzly dog drool, the crazy cat claws, and the howly-meowy mishmash? Those are some pretty amazing tethers. Does it work for teenagers? I'll take 50.

And don't forget that it, "
folds for convenient storage and travel." And why not? Who doesn't want Binky to have a spot at the grown-up table at Aunt Matilda's house this Thanksgiving? Your new boyfriend is cooking dinner for you at his place? Bring Muffin along! Nothing says, "I'll die a spinster" like showing up for a date with pet high chair and an unhinged-looking dog in tow.

Still considering the Pet High Chair? Fine. You better order extra tethers for your own crazy self.


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