Thursday, June 25, 2009

I'm in the Wrong Business

I have a penchant for blogging about wacky cat accoutrement and other curiosities. I enjoy diving into the great internet abyss and seeing what treasures I can unearth from its sometimes craggy underbelly. Granted, I would never actually slap down the Visa and purchase most of these impractical items, but they sure are fun to ogle. Now if I could find a way to get paid to design cat products that are fun, functional, edgy, and only slightly annoying to my felines....

* What could be more useful than a saddle bag for a cat? Since they refuse to procure proper summer employment, why can't they at least help Mama bring in the groceries, carry recyclable items to the garage, and deliver snacks?

* Lint-roller shoes would be of great assistance. After carpeting the sofa with their fur, they can do their part by cleaning up after themselves. To avoid embarrassment, the shoes can be designed in fashionable styles like Ugg-type boots and peep-toe pumps (low heels, of course).

* Is it too pie-in-the-sky to imagine an alarm clock-type item that can be set to synchronize with my alarm clock? The kitty could wear it around his neck, like a fancy collar. No more 4:30 am meow-meow-business!

* Can hypnosis affect cats? If so, I'd love a hypnosis CD that would lull my cats into subliminal programming that would convince them to not chew my laptop cord and eat slowly so they don't puke five minutes afterward (often in dark, well-traveled parts of the house).

Yes...when I figure out how to market these products, I will be a wealthy woman. Hey, if robotic litter boxes and double-decker kitty strollers have a market, cat hypnosis is not far behind!

What do you think, Phoebe?

Yep, she's totally on board.


  1. I'd buy the hypnosis CD. We often call Face away from her bowl just so she won't eat so much so fast. She gulps down the food then walks out of their room (which has a linoleum floor) and promptly throws up on the living room carpet. I swear she does it on purpose.

  2. Definitely deliberate ... I have one room with carpet, the rest are polished boards. SO the one room with the most kitty vomit marks is the carpeted one...

    I offer my 3 cats as test subjects for hypnosis.


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