Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Don't Forget to Hug Your Bacon Today

Think you know bacon? Think again. Here are 10 deliciously unconventional ways to utilize the raw version of our favorite meat candy.

1. Float a piece of raw bacon in your hot bath. Voila! A tasty and moisturizing equivalent of bath salts! As the scent of warm bacon wafts through the house, your family will be both jealous and hungry for your delicious bacon bath.

2. Squeaky door hinge? Bacon is both pliable and a natural lubricant! Throw that WD-40 right in the garbage.

3. We all know that dry winter air will leave your hands thirsty for moisture. Rub a slice of raw bacon between your hands allow your skin to embrace the greasy hydration.

4. Lost some weight and pants hanging off your hips? What could be more unique and fashionable than a belt created out of a few strips of bacon? No need to sew the pieces together -- paperclips work just fine and add a little bedazzling bling to the belt-o-bacon. Fancy!!

5. Nothing says Merry Christmas like a festive bacon bow atop the gifts you've lovingly wrapped for your friends and family. Again, bacon is a perfectly pliable material and each piece's unique marbling makes every gift an individual artistic expression. Plus, it's not especially well-documented, but I'm pretty sure that one of the wise men brought a gift of bacon to the baby Jesus.

So don't discount the serviceability of bacon. Not only is it a flavor frenzy, it is also a handy and helpful friend that will never let you down. Don't forget to hug your bacon today.


  1. When my pants are hanging off of my hips I just up my bacon consumption and soon there's no ned for a belt. ;)

  2. MMMMMMM, Bacon....

    You're right. Bacon never lets me down.

  3. I love the mental picture of you with a piece of bacond dangling from your hand rubbing it on a squeaky door hinge. I have replaced my dryer sheets with bacon. It does wonders for static cling.


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