Thursday, April 30, 2009

Table for One in the Vomitorium

I don't eat a lot of fast food. Not that I don't enjoy a nice Frosty-covered French fry now and again, I'm just all too familiar with the garbage-gut that I feel about an hour after I eat most of the stuff. I don't want to get all Morgan Spurlocky, but sometimes I feel a phantom fatty liver just looking at the sizes and content from some of the offerings at these burger bonanzas. By now, I'm sure you've been exposed to the wonder that is the Wendy's Baconator... two 1/4 lb burgers topped with six pieces of bacon. Now, you know I love me some bacon, however, six pieces? That beast could feed a small Indonesian village. Seriously, who needs that much food in one sitting? Plus, there's not even a rubbery slice of tomato or wilted leaf of iceberg lettuce to offer a fleeting glimpse of nutrition. After consuming the Baconator, I think I might feel like a greasier version of Nathan's hot dog king, Takeru Kobayashi. As if my mere imagination isn't enough to prevent me from hurling a giant boulder through my digestive tract (think Indiana Jones), lucky me found the data that pretty much seals the deal on my avoiding this sadistic sandwich. Slide around for a while in this greasy evidence:

Nutritional Comparisons for the Baconator

Sodium (1920 mg)

180 Pringles potato chips
132 Doritos Cooler Ranch chips

Calories (830)

Rolling Rock Light 12 oz bottles
4 Dodger Dogs
5 7-Eleven Cola Slurpees 12 oz
3 Chili Dogs from The Varsity in Atlanta
33 tablespoons of Oscar Mayer Bacon Bits
83 Life Saver Five Flavors candies
166 Starbucks coffees of the week 12 oz
4 Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnuts
Enough Pam No-Stick Cooking Spray to cover 138 10-inch skillets

Fat grams (51)

10 Dolly Madison Zingers
3 orders of A&W cheese fries
4 Dairy Queen banana splits
22 Oreo cookies
51 cups of Froot Loops
10 servings of KFC mashed potatoes with gravy
22 Mrs. Paul's Crunchy Fish Sticks
23 3 Musketeers funsize snacks
1 Sara Lee frozen cheesecake
6 ounces of Oscar Mayer hard salami
19 Chips Ahoy cookies
4 Jimmy Dean Pancake and Sausage on a Stick, chocolate chip flavored
68 Aunt Jemima microwaveable pancakes

Baconator for lunch...triple bypass for dinner. Enjoy...


  1. Blecccccch. :(

    I need an antacid just READING this.

  2. Frosty covered french fries? Oh my, we are related back there some where. I adore Frosty (or milkshake) dipped french fries. The hubby thinks I'm crazy. OK...he KNOWS I'm crazy. But that doesn't mean it ain't good. :)

  3. I've yet to consume it,but I do love a well done bacon/bleu cheese burger from the restaurant just over the river (Ask John if he remembers Ryan's Pier.)


Paws for Comment!!

Share With Friends